(I Have Missed) The Joy of Focus
18 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
I’ve neglected this thing for a while, for lots of reasons. Because I’ve been working a TON, trying to make ends meet and pay all my bills, trying to be a generally responsible 26 year old after my six month fully-supported teaching excursion in Thailand. I haven’t written because in the time that I’m not working I’m trying to catch a few waves, or catch up with friends. Because in the time that I’m not working or surfing or catching up with friends, I’m going to weddings, or helping my sister plan a wedding, or talking about weddings.
But mostly I haven’t written anything lately because I’ve been trying to catch up with myself. I’ve done very little to keep myself focused and centered and otherwise grounded, and to be honest, I’m tired. Really tired. It’s so much easier to throw myself into helping others, teaching Bible study, working, and being “busy” than it is to sit and be still and focus on the things that are going to make me feel good. Like writing, or studying all those GRE words that are sitting in a stack on my nightstand (and believe me, it’s not peaceful to wake up in the morning to a tower of unfamiliar words. I should move those), or running, or heck, even sleeping. I just haven’t given myself any time to be alone, and that’s so draining.
Plus, there are aspects of transitioning back into being “home” that are still catching up with me. How do I continue pursuing my passions and dreams without losing momentum? In Thailand it was easy to focus on, well, being in Thailand. I had a specific purpose for a set amount of time, and I had all the resources and desire to be fully engaged in that task. But back at home among friends and activities and distractions it’s so easy to drift and be busy and lose focus on the things that are so important to me. I don’t want to lose that drive to achieve the things I hope to achieve. And then there’s the whole transitioning-into-a-new-job thing, which actually takes up a lot more focus and energy than I had anticipated. I love the job, but adapting to it is taking some work.
All of that to say: I miss writing! I was inspired by this advice column tonight and decided that enough was enough: it’s time to throw myself back in and write like, well, a motherfucker, according to the column (Sugar’s words, not mine. Sorry parentals). Not that writing will make all of life’s little stresses disappear, but it definitely helps to frame them in their proper contexts. Which helps a whole lot. And in the process of writing, there is joy, which is always a good thing.
